Philia

Survivor

2008-01-28T09:16:00.011-05:00

Fort Lauderdale resident Damaries Cruz, 37, contracted HIV from her fiancé at 21-years-old in 1991. Seventeen years later, this AIDS survivor keeps living strong.

“My father is the King, I’m untouchable,” Cruz tells herself and others.

While living in Puerto Rico at 18-years-old Cruz tested negative to her first HIV/AIDS test before marring her ex-husband. At 21-years-old Cruz was divorced and getting ready to marry her new fiancé. As Cruz and her fiancé were about to have unprotected sex he said, "I tested negative to HIV/AIDS."

A year after having unprotected intercourse, Cruz suffered from severe yeast infections and non stop bleeding between her menstrual cycles.

“I think you may have cancer. We have to do a biopsy. I know you don’t have HIV /AIDS but lets test you for it anyways, just to rule it out,” said Cruz reenacting what her doctor said.

On Nov. 23 1991, Cruz had what she calls her second birthday. Her doctor in Puerto Rico said she had one year to live when her HIV test came back positive. All Cruz remembers that day is the room spinning and telling the person who gave her the results to check again. Cruz traveled to New York six times to get tested before she accepted the fact she had HIV.

Later that day Cruz got home and told her fiancé she was HIV positive. He then told her his dirty little secret.

“I knew I was going to take someone with me, but I didn’t know it was going to be you,” he said to Cruz admitting he had AIDS all along.

Cruz forgave her fiancé and decided to marry him anyways. But, a week before the weeding she caught him sleeping with another woman in their bed. Cruz called of the weeding and two years later he died from the virus.

That whole year Cruz suffered from severe depression. Her mother bathed her and spoon fed her after she refused to move from her bed.

Not ever wanting to look in the mirror, Cruz imagined herself thinning away, pale with her check bones and skeletal frame showing through her skin. But one day she worked up the courage and took a good glimpse in the mirror. And she looked the exact same way before she tested positive. She was Damaries Cruz and nothing had change that. The only difference was is she suffered from a chronic disease that she would have to deal with her entire life.

It was around that time when Cruz’s life took a 180 degree turn after she decided to go on a spiritual retreat. On the retreat a preacher called her out amongst the crowd. According to Cruz, he said someone in the audience tested positive for HIV. He said it was a woman and gave the age and date the woman was diagnosed. Other people stood in the crowd and claimed they were that person, but he said no to all of them until Cruz stood up and said, “It’s me.” She walked up to the preacher and he prayed for her and told her to help others.

“He saved my soul,” Cruz said. “If it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t be here today.”

Cruz moved to Florida to treat alcoholism. She was hypnotized three times before she conquered her battle with alcoholism. Today, Cruz remains a nine year recovering alcoholic.

Cruz, who worked at the Broward Health Department, spent four years going to Florida’s five main jails to speak to woman who were waiting to see their husbands or boyfriends. She taught them the basics of HIV/AIDS and made them aware of the possibility that their men could be having sex with other men while locked up. After all, her fiancé contracted HIV/AIDS while in jail and in return gave it to her. She also spent time helping inmates deal with HIV/AIDS and would receive multiple calls at 3 a.m. from jails when one would try to commit suicide.

Cruz also visited Florida International University and other local schools where she educated students on HIV/AIDS.

Now Cruz is starting a new job at the Miami-Dade Health Department as the Senior Health Educator.

Two years ago Cruz acquired AIDS when her T-cells dropped to 163. Once an HIV patient’s T-cells drop below 200 they’re considered to have AIDS. Her doctor and friends thought once she received AIDS she would finally go on medication. “Give me three weeks, I’ll be back,” Cruz told her doctor. Three weeks later Cruz did come back with an increase in her T-cells at 250.

“It’s not the quantity of life, it’s the quality,” Cruz said when referring to why she doesn’t take medication.

Cruz doesn’t tell others not to take medication for the virus. She said it is her personnel decision and that everyone’s body and immune systems work differently. She looks at medication as toxins coming into her body. People she knows on HIV/AIDS medication are always sick and no doctor can promise her she won’t have side effects too. So, she chooses not to take it.

Instead Cruz takes Chinese herbs, supplements, vitamins and protein shakes everyday. Her diet consists of fish, lots of greens and whole grains, and her doctor fully supports her.

Cruz may have been diagnosed with AIDS but she will not claim she has it. Besides her diet, her state of survival is mind over body.

Cruz goes to an acupuncturist every week and sees a hypnotist where she does exercises visualizing the virus going down and her T-cells coming up. Everyday Cruz puts on a smile. She believes her attitude plays a huge role in her health. “I try to stay happy,” Cruz said.

Cruz considers herself a little kid. She takes pleasure in the small things in life. She loves walking, reaching out to people, television, movies but most of all she loves sleep.

“I’m tired all the time but most of the time I try not to think about it,” Cruz said.

Overall, Cruz is a normal happy healthy woman in a six month relationship with a man she loves. She lives in an apartment, and like everyone else she hates doing laundry of which she has to share the utilities with everyone on her floor.

The Ugly Truth

2008-01-08T18:14:00.000-05:00

A week before she died on June 4, 1994, I was told she suffered from cancer, but it was all a lie.

While she lied in her white hospital bed in her cold room over looking Kendall Drive at Baptist Hospital, I remember thinking, she didn’t look sick. At 11-years-old I never dreamed that a perfectly good looking 39-year-old could die of cancer in a matter of a week.

A few days later, after the funeral, as I was on my way to ballet class I asked my mom how it was possible that my aunt died of cancer. A month before I witnessed a woman, who I called Nana, die of cancer as a skinny, bald-headed woman. When I compared the two, my aunt's case became unclear. It was then that my mom admitted to me, in secrecy, that she died of AIDS. At that time I didn’t care about how bad I felt. I only thought of my cousin, the son she left behind.

I later discovered before she was admitted into the hospital there was one family member who knew that she had AIDS. However, she or he was supposedly sworn to secrecy and therefore never told anyone until she was hospitalized.

Recently, I discovered that she never took her medicine. I was told that she always wanted to look beautiful and didn’t want to suffer from the side effects of the drugs, which explains why she died so suddenly.

On Jan. 9, I attempted to ask my grandmother questions about her death. She refused to talk to me about it and said that if I write about it then everyone would know I was around someone who had AIDS. My mother, unfortunately, remains completely clueless on the details of how my aunt contracted the virus or how long she lived with it. Some believe she contracted it from her husband who no longer speaks to the family.

My story is only one compared to millions. I was told, at one point, that my aunt never wanted to make it known that she had AIDS, because she didn’t want the family shunning her. Back in the nineties, the understanding on AIDS was very limited. If you had AIDS, people were afraid to touch and socialize with you. It was as if you suffered from leprosy.

Today, South Florida is one of the largest areas in the nation that has the most HIV/AIDS cases and the numbers continue to grow. Other than AIDS month, the media rarely covers the epedemic, how it’s affecting South Florida, how many health care practitioners accidentally contract it and how our youth are being affected by the constant rise of it possibly due to unprotected sex.

In 2004 Florida had the second highest HIV/AIDS cases among the youth ranged from 13 to 19 years of age in the U.S. From fifth to seventh grade I attended a private school in Miami. During my two years there, no teachers or counselors spoke to us about HIV/AIDS.

As a public high school student in Broward County I was forced, along with everyone else, to take a sex education class during my sophomore or junior year. That class is the only memory I have as far as my school trying to educate the youth on sexual transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS. Lucky for me, my dad spoke to me about boys, sex, diseases, protection and drugs from a very early age, sometime before the seventh or sixth grade, and he never stopped talking to me about it.

I remember leaving my private school in Miami where none of my friends and acquaintances were having sexual encounters to transferring into a public school in Weston in the eighth grade where the majority of kids were. At that time, people were already having sex and engaging in oral sex.

As I entered high school, the numbers only continued to climb and rapidly. If I recall correctly, my school ranked as one of the highest schools with HIV students. If it wasn’t for my education at home, I most likely would have done what everyone else was doing. Due to my life experiences, I believe education on the virus, sex and drugs all start at home.

This affects South Florida and all of us wholive here. People need to become more aware of the constant increase and that their is a good possibility that a loved one could have it and just be keeping it a secret. This desease effects our friends, family members and in the end YOU!

In 2007 Maxim Magazine voted Miami as the nation’s number one party city. They judged based on condom sales, bars and clubs, strip clubs, the ratio of women per a man, casinos and other statistics. My only conclusion, as of right now, is that as Miami and South Florida continues to grow so does HIV/AIDS and STDs. The only thing that can help the next generation is awareness but most importantly, like everything else, it has to start at home.